Rants on 3 am

Its 3 am and im just effing tired.

Mad, tired, upset, frustrated, exhaust, sad, angry- all mixed up.

When someone you love so much, care so much that you hope he would do the same to you, but he doesn't really did that, but pretend and acting as if he had done so much, but doesnt actually bother how you felt, keep making the same mistake not once or twice more but much more, and you barely slept for days, feeling tired but still trying to smile thinking bout that person, so concern you want him to be calm n happy that you'd never want to see him sad and miserable and you worry much for him,but he made you wipe your tears,crying yourself never bother thinking how he could have done just to save your tears,and he wasnt there to sooth you out, never really care your tears rolled down your cheek in the first place,but he went enjoying himself  while you busy thinking worrying about your work and his to be done, he turn you down isnt it? And that kind of mixed feeling is what you're gonna get.

And driving back big cars as a girl, had to park and walk for a distance with those feelings, trust me, it doesnt help a bit.

Because i cried out loud like a 3 years old girl moaning and screaming "i'm  tired" too many times. Upset and dissapointed.

And i dont give a damn about those guards.

I just wish there's a man out there who really care about me.

Because i hate this guy that i cant stop from loving so much.